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Friday, March 21, 2008

Diaries of a Modern Primitive Crafter


March 1rst was the first edition of the new online Magazine "The Olde Prairie Register".... if you haven't signed up for your free subscription, head on over there and get one!

There's great reading, featured artists, advertising space, give away's, contests, crafting tips and all kinds of fun things.

I wrote a fun little article (which I'll be doing again) and thought I would share the whole thing with you this time. Who knows.... "Diaries of a Modern Primitive Crafter" may turn into a series! LOL !


Dear Diary,

When I woke this morning, I immediately checked my middle finger on my left hand to see if that Udder Cream had actually worked as I heard it would. YES! My finger is healed almost completely!

For those of you who know what I'm talking about... my quilt is coming along nicely, thank you very much! AND mind you... not one drop of blood on it yet!

For those of you who do NOT know what in the world I'm talking about.... Udder Cream? Like in Cow Udders? oh yes... did you hear me? I said YES like Cows Udders! When you milk cows, those udders can get so very sore... poor cow. So the best medicine is a cream made special for the irritation and raw rubbing on their poor little udders. Well... when you quilt, you're constantly poking your finger that stays on the underside of the Quilt, sometimes until your finger bleeds. Hence: One Sore Finger! Udder Cream to the rescue! Now I can continue onward, destroying my finger for yet another day (I have a whole tub of this cream so I can self inflict wounds on my fingers for a long time! Or... milk a lot of happy cows)

Ahhh yes. The things we subject ourselves to when it comes to primitive crafting. It's not so much fun and games I tell you! It can be a full blown war zone! You against the supplies.

When I get out all the supplies needed to make my old fashion lye soap, I stop for a minute before I begin and yell out "BATTLE". Then onward to mix up liquid lye... which will hit temperatures that is very close to boiling point! Ahhh yes, then there's that accidental speck of lye crystal that will hit your arm and make you feel like you've just been shot with a gun! But it's the joy of making this soap that keeps me continuing onward.

Speaking of heat.... did you KNOW you shouldn't put the ceramic part of a crock pot directly ON the electric burner, with paraffin wax inside and the heat on low? WELL let me tell you... ummmm either call 911 or have a fire extinguisher on hand because that ceramic carrier will NOT handle any direct heat. It's amazing what melted wax, blazing with fire spikes hitting 3 feet in the air... can do to an entire stove, stove hood and ummmm the floor, the counter or anything else in it's path. Ahem... but melting wax is so much FUN to work with! Right? Scent it up nice and you can dunk all kinds of things in it for some yummy smelling, primitive fixins.

Stoves. This is a danger all in itself isn't it? Have you ever gotten that look from your Husband or Child... oh you know the one I'm talking about! Head slightly tilted, one eyebrow cocked... mouth a little pursed... as you are standing there, HUGE proud smile on your face as the words come out of your mouth. "I Just Finished Baking My Doll!" And, as you stand there OH so tickled pink... they just look at you like you have completely lost your mind! A doll. You cooked a doll in the oven? Well DUH! Of course I did! Ovens are a Primitive Crafter's best friend! Thanksgiving Turkeys? Well, I'm all over cooking one of those IF it's grunged just perfectly with the best blends of coffee's and spices, stuffed with rags or filling and sanded with sandpaper! Ohhh I just get all tickled thinking about making that kind of Turkey!

I have Children. Cute and Adorable little Aliens that they are. Oh yes... I just loved when they brought their friends home and the friend turns to my Daughter and asks "Your Mom is REALLY a Hooker?". As your Daughter giggles and says SHE SURE IS! As I smiled sweetly in front of my frame, hooking away... I had a vision of all my wool strips, my linen backing AND the rug hook stuffed inside her mouth so full she wouldn't be able to talk for a week! But... she wasn't technically lying now was she? When you hook rugs, you then are branded for life about being a 'hooker'. Your own Adult Friends get in on this joke also... I think at one time they were calling me Bubbles the Hooker because of my Lye Soap and Hooked Rugs. Har Har Har. (actually that was one of the more clever labels)

WOOL! I bet you wouldn't think of wool being a dangerous craft supply would you? So playing with needle felting has got to be the neatest craft.... take a felting needle and just poke poke poke and the Wool roving just sticks in ohhhh so good! Poke into what? Fabric? Skin? BONE! I don't think anyone is like me... I hold my felting needle up in front of my face and we have a little talk. "Needle" I say, "You will not poke all the way into my finger bone today ok?" But I finally figured out why it wasn't listening to me... well silly me, I thought it had ears so it can HEAR my demands! Sigh.... I'll have to figure out another way to get TO the needle to stop wanting to go play with my finger bones.

But then there's the YUMMY Wool fabric! I use a lot of black walnuts to dye my wools. Throw them in a 20 quart pot of boiling water and ohhhh the fun dye bath you can get. But, I bet you wouldn't think about getting poison ivy doing this! Or being attacked by a rabid squirrel! Or having the local Sheriff pull his car over to see what you're doing in the park, alone, with a bucket! Look, trust me when I tell you this: Upon encountering a rabid killer squirrel, with him knowing full well you are going to steal his black walnuts... RUN the other way!

Oh Diary... the memories we've shared. I just wonder if a Pioneer Lady was here today, in this time, in my home... if she wouldn't get a broom handle after me! But I'll be back another day, if I have all my fingers intact... to write more about the wonderful experience of Primitive Crafting!

Until then... Blessings!

Jean Witt
Bluejean Primitives

4 comments:

Doreen said...

Jean, this article is GREAT...you have a wonderful sense of humor and i just loved reading all the adventures you have hade. Now, did the stove and parafin wax incident really happen???? That is just awful...however did you get that mess cleaned up...I think I would have just moved!!!

I am going to definately stop over and check out The Register.

Blessings,
Doreen

Bluejean Primitives said...

::: bowing head in shame ::: Yes, it's all true. LOL As far as cleaning it up? It was like child birth... you know it hurt but you forget the actual pain. ;)

JenW!~ said...

I loved reading your aticle. Bubbles the Hooker now that's funny.

Countryfolk Keepsakes said...

LOL!! This was great Jean!!
I am a firm believer in "Vermont's Original Bag Balm". In the winter I get lots of tiny splits on the sides of fingertips. This stuff works like a charm! My guess its similar to Udder Cream.
Moo
~Peanut